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about

Clint:
As a tribute to geek godfathers TMBG, we included this educational song (which was only ever performed in the studio).

I've gotten no end of crap from various parties over the years for a factual error: in the original lyrics, it went "it's revolutionary/and anti-rotational" but I left that notebook in EL when I went to Ann Arbor to record. Result: a song that was meant to appeal to geeks and instead only provoked them.

It just goes to show you, you should only sing about what you know.

This song is a bit unusual in that I wrote it but Ryan sang it - he had a more straightforward delivery that suited it better. Ed Kohler did the instructional overdub.

lyrics

picture a sheet, a big big rubber sheet
the earth's in the middle
everybody's on top
thus the earth can influence the way we drop

they think they're pretty great
they think their theory's something special
electromagnetism, the strong force and the weak
but the single most famous force is the one that's not

don't worry
we won't shoot off into space
don't worry
i asked you to stay
but your mass made you weight
all i need is the air that i breathe
and it's stuck to the world
via earth's gravitational pull

9.8 meters per second squared
is the rate of gravity's acceleration
and that's true for the blue whale and rickettsia
(rickettsia is the world's smallest living organism)
on my TI-85 i did a foot-conversion calculation
got 32.152166
(6666667)

gravity's action is proportional to mass
but its counterpart inertia
is proportional to mass, too
the rate is a constant
and we can see that clearly
and since its cause is geometric
it's never going to stop
so you never have to wonder if people will shoot off
into space
like jobeth williams
and timothy leary

don't worry
we won't shoot off into space
don't worry
i asked you to stay
but your mass made you weight
all i need is the air that i breathe
and it's stuck to the world
via earth's gravitational pull

all i need is the air that i breathe
and it's stuck to the world
via earth's gravitational (mass proportional)
non situational (fundamental principle)
it's revolutionary and rotational
earth's sensational pull

credits

from Better Dating Through Technology, released March 3, 2023
Lyrics: Clint Hoagland
Music: The Fullerenes

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